But why the Enneagram?
TLDR: the Enneagram explains YOUR customized path to personal growth
MBTI, Clifton Strengths, DISC, etc. I get asked a lot what’s the different between the Enneagram and all the other personality tests out there.
All of these are helpful tools for learning about oneself and the people around you.
In my opinion, the Enneagram is not only a tool for understanding yourself and the people around you, but it’s also a customized path out of your worst habits and into your best self.
Let me break it down a little bit:
Dominant Type
Your dominant type (ie. when people say “I’m a Type 8” etc.) has a range of tendencies from unhealthy to healthy. A healthy Type 8 uses their strength to plow paths for others to follow. An unhealthy Type 8 might use their strength to plow over people.
Wings
The Wings, the numbers on either side influence your main type. A Type 8’s wings are 7 and 9. These also have a range of unhealthy to healthy tendencies. A Type 8 using the healthy side of their 9 wing will use their strength to promote peace and resolve conflict. A Type 8 using the unhealthy side of their 9 wing might choose to use their strength to create peace by bullying others to accept their opinion and leave them alone.
Paths
Your dominant type is connected to two other types, called the Paths. These are the lines that connect across the Enneagram symbol.
Type 8’s path are 5 and 2. And yes, you guessed it, these too have a range of unhealthy to healthy tendencies.
A Type 8 using the healthy range of their 2 path will become generous. If they use the unhealthy side of 2, they might become domineering and manipulative.
At any given moment, we may be operating out of any of the connected parts, in any range of health.
Growth
What’s so great about the Enneagram laying out your tendencies this way is it’s easy to categorize your actions. You can begin to notice your unhealthy patterns, as well as learn what a healthier version of that pattern can be.
For example, as a Type 1 - The Perfectionist/Improver, I have a superpower for spotting imperfections. This makes me a really great teammate to look at a plan or process and tell you where it might fail. If I use this skill well, I can save a lot of trouble for people.
Unfortunately I don’t always use it well. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the imperfections of the world and as a coping strategy, I begin to criticize relentlessly. I might also get stressed, as if I feel like I have to fix everything myself.
I’ve been learning to recognize the physical and emotional signs in myself when this sort of thing is happening:
I get a lump in my throat — I know this means I’m feeling like something is imperfect and I’m afraid I don’t know how to fix it.
I start getting nit-picky at myself or my husband, or even our cat — I recognize now that this means I’m overwhelmed with wrong things that I can’t control, so I fixate on small, meaningless things that I can control.
My jaw is clenching — The tension from the imperfections in the day is catching up to me and I have to give myself a minute to loosen up.
When my Type 1 coping strategies aren’t successful, I tend to pull on my wings and paths.
If I’m disappointed, I tend to sink into melancholy and self-pity. I recognize this as my unhealthy 4 path. I can choose to actively step out of the melancholy; I’m not beholden to soak in it unless I want to.
If I’m becoming restless, I might try to escape my responsibilities by procrastinating, or searching for lots of fun stimulation. This is a coping strategy that pulls from my unhealthy 7 path.
If I’m overwhelmed by life’s imperfections, and I know I don’t want to sink into criticism, I might accidentally pull on my unhealthy 9 wing, and shut out the world. Sink into my bed, pull up the covers, and pretend like there’s nothing to worry about.
And so on.
Now that I recognize these behaviors in myself, and why I do them, I can do something about it! I
When I feel a lump in my throat because something isn’t perfect, I take a mental step back. I ask myself what I’m afraid will happen if the thing isn’t perfect, and if I can be OK with it not being perfect.
When I’m sinking into self-pity, I recognize my 4 path, and I can choose to actively step out of the melancholy; I’m not beholden to soak in it unless I want to.
On days that I just can’t bring myself to operate at my best, I can allow myself some fun procrastination time, or some time spent hiding in under the covers, without shame or guilt.
The more that I become aware of myself, the more I can intentionally choose to do the healthier things.
The Enneagram is personal path towards my best self.
Are you interested in learning your customized growth path? Let’s talk!